You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize