please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
