4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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