where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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