Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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