I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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