He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
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I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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