when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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