god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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