I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what day is it and did you see me today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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