You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
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