That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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