Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
