My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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