Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I supernannyed him into submission
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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