I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
