Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
