I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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