Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize