return my video game
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize