friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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