so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
