there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize