Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
