Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
