apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
