I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention