Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Randomize
Follow @tfln