She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.