i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.