I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
