Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
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I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
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It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.