I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it