I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
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When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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