do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I party with great urgency now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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