evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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