Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think people are normalizing furries
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
