Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
