addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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