Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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