Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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