I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
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