I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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