What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
