is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize