The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So. Much. Porn.
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