I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize