I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
where am i from again
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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