just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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