As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
