What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
