if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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