I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I woke up under a house in Key West
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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