i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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