Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
love makes seman taste better
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
