kristin has been a bad kristin
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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