dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
