...so i touched it.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
