..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize