Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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